Daily Distractions from Draznar's Diva

Sixteen Years Ago

2009-03-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

Sixteen years ago....I was barely twenty. I was very single and I was very pregnant.

Sixteen years ago last weekend a tornado hit Powell & Lenoir City. I was again very pregnant and living in my mom's trailer. Storms don't scare me they excite me because I know God is in control. I looked outside and watched the rain come down in sheets almost sideways. I listened to try and hear the twister. It hit the trailer park down the road from ours. It was very surreal to drive around after the storm had passed to see the damage it had caused. I was filled with awe. Jay & I were not dating but I find it interesting that he lived in Lenoir City and I lived in Powell. Tornadoes don't often hit in the TN Valley.

Wow, it has been 16 yrs!

Sixteen years ago this coming Friday a major blizzard hit. Before the snow came I went to the OBGYN for my regular weekly check and he said I was dilated 3 cm's. Mom told me I wasn't allowed to give birth. Needless to say I waited a week later.

It's Like Pulling Teeth

2009-03-11T09:44:00.000-07:00

Kat wiggling her loose tooth.

Okay I know you have heard that saying..."It's like pulling teeth." Well that has a whole new meaning for the Tidwell household. Here is the beginning...

Back in November during a rehearsal for the Christmas musical at our church our daughter Kathryn accidentally got headbutted during the practice bow. She became hysterical as only our Kat can. We finally calmed her down and the tooth was loose but not ready to come out by any means. Well the adult tooth came in behind the loose tooth. She looked so cute. You could see the bulge of the tooth when she closed her lips.

Now, it is March and her tooth has been very loose for about 3 months. I kept telling her to wiggle it and pull it out. Well she started playing with it this last week. She would blow on the tooth to make it wiggle and then laugh. That got old! Jay told her that he was going to pull it out. She kept stalling and saying that she was not ready. (Now keep in mind this tooth is hanging on by a little piece of skin!)

Both Jay & I got tired of it and this past Sunday we had enough. It was a nice day and she wanted to go out and play with her friends but Jay said that the tooth needed out first. She cried and screamed, "But I am not ready!" First I tried to hold her while Jay pulled her tooth but she would not stop screaming and crying and she would not open her mouth. Then we went to the bathroom because she wanted to look at it. Again she would not open her mouth and continued to cry & scream. So, I said that I was going to get the pliers and left the bathroom. I was so furious with her. It's just a tooth and it is just hanging on by a thread! She locked the door so I could not get in. I heard Jay calmly try to talk to her and convince her that the tooth had to come out. She started screaming "but I'm scared!" Jay asked of what? She said "that it will hurt!" Meanwhile, I got the pliers and stood outside the door half infuriated and half laughing. My son, Josh was sitting in the living room laughing and shaking his head. The windows were opened and I wondered if anyone was going to call DHHR on us for child abuse since she sounded like we were killing her. Her friends were outside laughing. I unlock the door and she screams "she's coming with the pliers!" and "I'm scared of it hurting!" I open the door and I look at her. I pinch her arm not hard but enough to hurt a little and she said "ouch that hurt!" I told her that now she doesn't have to be scared of the pain of the tooth being pulled. She didn't buy it. I gave Jay the pliers and left the room because I was too angry and Jay is better at keeping his cool around Kat. Finally he got tired of her dodging and flicked the tooth with his fingers and it just fell out.

It took about 2 hours of her screaming and crying and carrying on. It makes me think this must be how God feels when we do the same thing if He is asking something of us that we don't like or don't want to do. Please know that I love Kat with all my heart but she is so headstrong and stubborn that she gets carried away with fear that makes no sense. Yep, that saying takes new meaning for us here at the Tidwell house.

FROG It!

2009-02-09T13:14:00.000-08:00

A dear friend of mine recently told me that God has been working on her. She told me that she is learning to fully rely on God. So with my mind the way it is I could not help but picture a frog. Yes, I know I get distracted easily. I can’t help it. :-) Anyways, what does it mean to be a FROG? In times like these how do we do it? Well for one thing you need to have faith in Him.

This past Sunday our pastor spoke about relying on God in the midst of a storm. In Matthew 8:23-27 there was a ‘furious storm’ that came ‘without warning’ while Jesus and the disciples were on a boat. Here Jesus is sleeping soundly and the disciples are freaking out. When woken up by the disciples Jesus tells them they have little faith and He asks them why they are so afraid. Then He rebukes the wind & waves and the storm is gone just as suddenly as it began. I believe to Fully Rely on God we need to be like Jesus. No, I don’t mean rebuke the wind & waves (though that isn’t a bad idea either.) I mean to be able to sleep soundly knowing full and well that everything is in God’s capable hands. That is having faith. Satan would like nothing better than to feed our minds with worry, doubt and fear of what the possibilities of our situation could be or what new storm might rise up. But as one of my favorite movies (I still need to read the book) says “Don’t Panic!”

The storms in life are inevitable. They will happen and they can be very unpredictable. Now we can fret and worry about what the storms might be or how we are going to get though our current storm or we can FROG it. Now that isn’t easy but one step to help you on your journey to Frogdom is this scripture:

5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

My prayer for you and for myself is that we continuously take captive our thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. I ask that you pray this for me too.

Happily Ever After?

2009-02-03T14:15:00.000-08:00

We live in a culture that is infatuated with Happily Ever After. I remember dreamily watching Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and many other movies wishing for my prince charming. I feel sorry for men today! What kind of expectations have we made them have to live up to? According to the story line they are to be handsome, charming, know our every need and sweep us off our feet. No wonder there is so much disrespect for the male of our species! They can’t get a break. Now don’t get me wrong even though I claim to not be a mushy girlie movie watcher I still end up watching Lifetime Movie Network or Hallmark with tissues. They are great stories but they are fiction! Men are fallible just as we are. Do not try to make your husband to be perfect. That will lead to you disrespecting him, maybe even demeaning him.

We need a reality check. The only perfect man the ever has been, was, is and will ever be is Jesus. Period. If you are looking for your spouse to be that then you will be let down and they will be crushed with the responsibility of unrealistic expectations. When was the last time you thanked him for his work? His fathering? His love-making? His just being there? For choosing you? Has he made mistakes? Have you? Think about it this way, his parents were not perfect so he is just doing the best he can with what he learned from growing up.

I guess I am writing this because I have seen too many divorces recently. I have seen too many wives disrespecting their husbands behind their backs, with their children present, and even to their faces. I have seen too many wives say that they want to leave their mate even though they have promised to love for better or worse, for richer or poorer! My heart aches. That doesn’t mean that I am immune. There have been times that I have talked bad about my husband to my friends and to my family. I have learned that all that does is feed the monster of discontent. Your family & friends will only encourage you to leave if they think you will be happier but what does God say?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.

Matthew 5:43-44 43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

So if love is all these things and we are supposed to even love our enemies shouldn’t we love our spouses too? Love is not a feeling. If it were then every marriage would end in divorce very quickly. Marriage is not a walk in the park. When we said our vows our eyes were glazed over with the romance of it all. Once life hits you a choice has to be made. Am I going to choose to love? Love is a choice. Love is an action. Jesus demonstrated that by an action. He died for us. How are you willing to demonstrate it to your husband? Show him that you love him!

To Know Me More...

2009-01-27T10:34:00.000-08:00

...keep reading. I've been tagged by my friend, Melissa @ Musings of a Multi-Tasking Mama. You get to learn the following things about me- I know your inquiring minds were dying to know so I decided not to keep you in suspense any longer ;p

6 Things I Value:
1. My relationship with Jesus.
2. My husband.
3. My children.
4. The Bible.
5. My Church.
6. Music.

6 Things I Support:
1. Healthy marriages.
2. Pro-Life.
3. Prayer in schools.
4. Anyone in the Mission Field.
5. Capitalism & competition.
6. Republicans.

6 Things I Do Not Support:
1. Socialism.
2. Pro-choice...the choice is whether or not to have sex. People know the risks and only abstinence is 100% effective. Who are we to play God saying because of the circumstances that caused the pregnancy the unborn child should not exist. Isn't God the maker and creator? Doesn't He know best? (Sorry, big passion of mine. :) )
3. The so-called tolerance that is being tossed around that seems to exclude Christianity in our schools and our government.
4. Democrats. (though I will pray for our government leaders)
5. Terrorists.
6. Passive aggressive personalities.

6 People I Tag:
Well, I don't read very many blogs so I have three:
1. Jay (my hubby) with Just Jay's Journal.
2. My good friends, Don & Lori at Never a Dull Moment.
3. Josh at Playground of the Mind.

I would love to know these things about the following bloggers so hopefully they will play along (if they want to) and then let me know when they have posted so I can come read.

What is in store for 2009?

2009-01-14T10:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know it has been a long time since I have posted. December was a very busy time for my family and me. So now on to Jan 2009...

What is in store for the Tidwell’s in 2009? What goals do I wish to accomplish? Do I have any resolutions?

Well first, Jay & I are trying to refinance the mortgage. We are waiting right now for the appraisal. If everything goes smoothly we will be able to pay off our debt and cancel our credit cards. (Because we have gotten out of debt so many times just to head right back in there.) Then we are going on a cash budget. If the refinancing doesn’t work we are going to have to find some extra income. Either Jay will get a new job or a second job or I will get a part-time job. We are continuously praying for God’s guidance and wisdom no matter what happens.

Personally, I don’t like to make resolutions but I do make goals. Goals that are not impossible to accomplish. One goal of mine is to guard my mouth. I tend to talk a bunch. It is part of my personality and sometimes I will say something that I shouldn’t or I will give out too much information. I am asking God to help me to control the flow of words that come out of my mouth. I have to curb my enthusiasm and that is very difficult so I ask that y’all pray for me in this.

My other personal goal is to lose 15 pounds. Back in 2005, I weighed over 200 lbs. (see picture) It took 10 months and lots of discipline but I reached my goal and lost 65 lbs. Well, I have been lax in my eating habits this last year and I have slowly gained 15 lbs back. I am praying the God give me the self discipline to eat in moderation and to exercise every other day so that I can reach my goal. I think it is better I take control now before I go back to the 200 plus pounds where I was before. Since I have lost the weight Jay likes to say that he married his trophy wife first.

In ministry, the Twogether Marriage Ministry has already been busy for this year. We bought the license to have a Fireproof Movie Event. We showed the movie at our church on Friday January 9th. About 140 people showed up to see the movie. Jay & I were able to give a small testimony about how God has worked in our marriage after the movie. We have been asked to show it again since several people did not get to come so we are planning another movie event in the near future.

We are going to Family Life's Weekend to Remember on Feb 20-22 at Lansdowne resort in VA. We hope to bring many couples to this conference. Jay & I have been to 7 of them. It is a wonderful tool to help a hurting marriage and to grow and strengthen a healthy one.

There are so many other things we are doing (or I should say God is doing) in our marriage ministry and in our lives. So I will try to keep y’all posted. I hope and Pray the 2009 is a very blessed year for everyone!

I am a Katharine...

2008-11-19T07:19:00.000-08:00

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Katharine!

You are a Katharine -- "I am happy and open to new things"

Katharines are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.

How to Get Along with Me

* Give me companionship, affection, and freedom.

* Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter.

* Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.

* Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.

* Be responsible for youself. I dislike clingy or needy people.

* Don't tell me what to do.

What I Like About Being a Katharine

* being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down

* being spontaneous and free-spirited

* being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun.

* being generous and trying to make the world a better place

* having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures

* having such varied interests and abilities

What's Hard About Being a Katharine

* not having enough time to do all the things I want

* not completing things I start

* not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career

* having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies

* feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship

Katharines as Children Often

* are action oriented and adventuresome

* drum up excitement

* prefer being with other children to being alone

* finesse their way around adults

* dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up

Katharines as Parents

* are often enthusiastic and generous

* want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life

* may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

The Whoa's of Womanhood

2008-11-17T14:32:00.000-08:00

The last few weeks have been quite a whirlwind for me. It all started out when one Saturday night in August I was awakened from a deep sleep with labor-like cramps. I have had my share of painful periods and all but this was not right. I usually blow off any strange thing I might feel is wrong with my body especially with my periods and make the excuse it is just something I have to deal with. This time I knew I needed to call the doctor. So the next Monday I called and they schedule an ultrasound. I had to wait a month for the test and then another 10 days to find out the results. The doctor said that it looked like Adenomyosis and suggested an MRI to see if this was correct. Then the MRI showed no such condition. At this point I had surrendered in my brain that I was just a crybaby and I needed to get over it. The doctor said that he wanted to do a diagnostic laparoscopy. I said okay what can it hurt? It will let me know if I have something going on or if it is all in my head.

Two months went by and my periods were close to normal. No major problems. I start to think ‘do I really need to have this done?’ I tell the doctor and he says great but he still thinks we need to see what is going on. That made me feel better and I trust he knows what he is doing. He is one of the best GYN’s in town.

The day of the surgery went well. I got the kids off to school and Jay took me to the hospital for One Day Surgery. We arrive around 9am. I quickly get called back and have to put on one of those strange gowns that they blow air in to make you warmer. I am pretty much at ease and I joke with the nurses. Then it was time for the IV to be put in. Needles don’t bother me. I like to give blood with Jay at his work on a regular basis. I think this nurse had too big of a needle or something. First she numbed the site which I thought was neat but then she goes in and I think she hit my nerve several times before going all the way through my vein blowing it out. The numbing did not help the pain from this. I then had to hold my right hand up and apply pressure to the bandage she placed on it. (BTW this is my dominant hand!) I am still smiling, saying ’well, my veins in my hands do tend to roll.’ The other nurse successfully puts in the IV in my left hand with no problem at all.

The surgery went well. The doctor tells Jay what he found and I get to hear it second hand from him. Now, women out there please take note of this. If you want to know the information plan ahead and give your husband a notepad and pen to write down everything the doctor says! I love Jay to death but I dislike his lack of remembering the details. What I do know is that Jay got to see pictures, which I think is so cool and I want to see them. (Yes, I know I am weird!) Here is what Jay told me…I have adhesions, burn marks, and endometriosis. The doctor says I have three options: the pill, shots, or a hysterectomy. With a hysterectomy he would have to take the ovaries. I will go back on Nov 20th to talk to the doctor. (BTW that is my 36th birthday!)

While I was recuperating at home, the night of the surgery, we had friends over to play a round of D&D to keep my mind occupied. I don’t do well having to sit still. I did not get up and wait on them I was very good and sat still. The next day I did over do it by going up and down the stairs for things when I should have asked one of my kids to do it. Sunday I stayed still and I was totally bored. My right hand also started hurting badly with the nerve also throbbing all the way up my arm & shoulder. By Wednesday I was in tears and I broke down and called the doctor. The nurse told me to do hot & cold compresses.

A week after the surgery Jay & I planned to go to the Festival of Marriage in Ocean City, MD. In hinds sight I should have postponed the surgery until after the conference but oh well. When we left for the marriage conference I was still hurting so I brought my pain meds and decided to start taking them. (I had stopped on Sunday.) So I was somewhat loopy on the ride there but I was able to listen to the speakers and comprehend what they were saying. The next day my hand & arm were much better but then I starting cramping. I had started my period! It hurt to the point I could not straighten up all the way. I still went onto the classes and when the meds kicked in I was okay but it would have been nice to have had a pain free fun weekend with my hubby!

Anyways, my mind has been swarming with all of this information about the results of the laparoscopy. I have gone online and read side-effects and forums. I fell that I have read about everything there is to know about endometriosis and I don’t like any of the options. I have told Jay that I would like to just forget the whole thing and deal with my monthly problems as they come with the knowledge of why so I don’t have to go through the side-effects of the other options. Depression & insomnia….I have already gone through both that I don’t want to invite them back! Osteoporosis, which runs in my family, and mood swings…the list doesn’t look great.

While all of this is running through my head I have tried to explain to Jay that I am freaking out over here. I think this weekend he finally got it. It is good to go away to a marriage conference so that you can get your spouse’s undivided attention. It is not that I want any more kids but the thought that I will absolutely not be able to have them is difficult to swallow. He wants me to do something. He said that he does not want to continue the way things have been with my monthly time. I am patiently waiting for what the doctor suggests. I am going to give him my list of concerns and what I think might be best for me and my family.

I have had to stop and pray for wisdom and guidance. I know that God is in control and I need to rely on Him for the fortitude to go through any and every challenge this takes me through. During my quiet time last week I came across this passage and God used it to calm my mind:

Isaiah 43:1-7
1 But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush [a] and Seba in your stead.
4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life.
5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.
6 I will say to the north, 'Give them up!'
and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the ends of the earth-
7 everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made."

Isn’t that awesome! God is with me no matter what I am going to go through. Even if I have to deal with depression, insomnia, mood swings or osteoporosis He will be with me. If I have to say goodbye to my ovaries He will get me through it. I know that my condition is not life threatening but it is life changing. I have decided to embrace these changes and if/when I have the surgery I am going to have a party, a ‘wake,’ to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new me.

Blog Award

2008-11-15T18:32:00.001-08:00

I am making this short due to the fact that I am at a marriage conference and should be spending my time with the hubby. My closest friend in Martinsburg, who BTW introduced me to blogging, has given me a Blog Award! So trying to figure out what to do with this is a learning experience. I love reading her blogs and spending time with her for she is such a wonderful inspiration to me. Here is one of her blogs: The Feel Chic Botique. Thank you Melissa for the award!

I will be posting tomorrow night or Monday morning about what has been happening in my life these past few weeks. I have a health problem that has given me a very life changing decision to make.

Marriage Busters

2008-11-03T08:48:00.000-08:00

My husband and I went to see the movie Fireproof again. It just started playing in our hometown’s movie theater and we wanted to support that. This is an excellent movie! Watching it again makes me wonder about marriages today. There are so many divorces. Wives cheating on husbands and husbands cheating on wives it makes me sad.

Jay & I are passionate about healthy marriages because we have been through infidelity and with God’s help and a lot of repentance, prayer & forgiveness we have been made stronger in our marriage. That is why we started Twogether Marriage Ministry at our church. There are some things that you can do to safeguard your marriage.

First, build your mate up. Don’t talk negatively about him with anyone, especially your friends & family. They will usually take your side and feed the fire. Second, love your mate without expectations. If they did not do something you wanted them to do or if they do something that you didn’t want them to do remember that they are human. They are not perfect nor will they ever be while here on earth. Third, communicate! I don’t mean always telling them what they are doing wrong but tell them you thoughts and feelings. Build them up with what they are doing right. Aren’t you a happier person when you are told the good things about yourself? Fourth, watch yourself when talking with the opposite sex. This one is hard for me because I am a natural flirt. I love attention and I can get myself in a heap of trouble very quickly. I am glad that I have friends in my life that will stop me and hold me accountable. Fifth, schedule date time at least once a month, make them a priority in your life. The kids, job, house, and hobbies can wait. Sixth, pray with your mate! Five minutes a day makes a big difference in your marriage!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says:
“4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”

If we could just remember that this is how we are to love one another! It does not say that love is complaining when you don’t get the attention you wanted or to disrespect your mate when you are talking with friends and family about him or her.
I admit it is a tall task but with God and with daily, no, constant prayer He will help you love your mate the way He intended.

I am not great at doing these things but I am constantly trying to better myself and trying not to go back to my old ways. If you have not gone to see this movie it is a must see. We are planning to start doing the “Love Dare” at our church in the spring. How is your marriage?

Tomorrow is Halloween!

2008-10-30T12:33:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow is Halloween and I can’t wait but there was a time in my life that I thought it was bad. I believed that it was an evil holiday for witches and such. I have now come to my senses. It is a fun evening to dress up in a costume and meet your neighbors. You hand out a lot of candy and you get a lot in return.

Our neighborhood has gotten into the spirit of Halloween with a neat tradition called ghosting. You get a bag of candy & goodies with a picture of a ghost and directions. Then you go to a neighbor’s house, leave the bag of candy at the front door, ring the doorbell and run away. Then after being “Ghosted” you place the picture of the ghost on your front door and go ghost 2 other neighbors in the next 2 days. It was fun to do! We also left our phone number for safety.

I looked up the History of Halloween and found it very interesting. It started out in Ireland 2000 years ago. It was the Celtic New Year. This was the time that the Celtic priests thought there was a thin line between the dead & living world so they had a bon fire. They threw vegetables & animals on the fire to appease their gods so that their crops would not fail. They dressed up in costumes, usually animal skins, to ward off evil spirits. When the festival was over they took the flame from the bon fire and re-lit their hearth fires. The name Halloween came to be after the Romans invaded the Celtic land. They had All Saints Day and then All Souls Day which coincided with the Celtic festival. They have now merged into what we have today.
For more info these are my sources:
http://www.history.com/minisites/halloween/viewPage?pageId=713
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween

So let me know what do you do for Halloween? Does your neighborhood have any traditions? Or do you avoid the holiday?

A Decade Ago

2008-10-28T07:01:00.000-07:00

Ten years ago today I gave birth to Kathryn Elizabeth Tidwell. She weighed 8 lbs and was 20 inches long. The doctor had me induced 12 days early because her big sister was 10.5 lbs and 21 ¾ inches long. Needless to say, I liked that doctor. I don’t remember the birth as vividly as I do my first and second. I do remember that when it came time to push the nurses told me not to move or laugh or do anything because the doctor would not be there for another 15 minutes. Keep in mind since I was induced it took about 9 hours to get to that point. Potocin makes the labor pains hurt 10 times worse so I had an epidural. She came out in one push. I guess giving birth gets easier the more you do it.

I think the greatest lesson I have learned from having three children is that you don’t run out of love. I felt guilty when having my second child that it would take away some of my love for the first but God increases your love with each child. It is amazing. It shows you what unconditional love is all about.

Life with Kathryn has been a blast. She is cute, vibrant, energetic, and talented. She loves being the center of attention and can cause drama to happen if she is not. She is a loyal friend and a good student. Though she can be a bratty little sister her siblings can also be bratty. So, Happy Birthday, baby! You are well loved and a great blessing!

Advice for Gamers and Their Spouses

2008-10-27T11:29:00.000-07:00

My husband, Jay, is a computer gamer. I like to call him my geek. Most of our arguments usually are around the pc and the time he spends on it. I felt I should share with other PC Widows out there some pointers on how to live happily with a gamer and some advice for the gamers on how to keep their spouse happy.

First, to the Spouses out there, I feel your pain. It is very frustrating when you are trying to communicate with your gamer and they don’t even look up at you. When the children were younger and went to bed early I found one easy way to get Jay’s, or Draznar’s, attention. I would flash him. Then his eyes would look at me albeit not at my eyes but hey I was getting some attention!

Well, I have learned a lot since then on what works and what doesn’t. Don’t complain or nag about their computer use. This will only cause them to be on it more and avoid real life. Compliment them and say positive things to them even when you don’t want to. If they are playing a game and you need them for a moment, walk up to them, place your hand on them and have them take off their headphones and look you in the eyes. This is the only way you can be sure that they hear you. Try to sit down with them and make a schedule of when they have game time. Jay usually plays Tuesday & Thursday after 9pm and some on the weekends. (Except for that time of month when he just plays whenever he wants to avoid me. :D)

Gamers, if you want to keep your spouse happy, schedule your playing time. Schedule your family time. Show us that we are a priority in your life. I tell Jay that even though we are married I still need to be pursued! Give us some attention too. The more loved we feel and the more we feel that we are a priority over the computer and the more we will understand that you need time to do your thing.

We still have our tiffs over this subject but I think we are getting better. And I do still Love my Geek!

Winter Concerts

2008-10-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

It is the time for rehearsals and scheduling of the Christmas plays, concerts, & musicals. This year is going to be very busy for the Tidwell household. Josh is in Chamber Choir & Men’s Choir at school and Raise the Praise at church. Rebecca is in Show choir and band at school. She is also in Raise the Praise at church. Kathryn is in Music Makers at church and she has a general “winter concert” for school.
For the most part the middle school & high school here do a mixture of secular & sacred music. The elementary & intermediate schools do not. Kathryn brought home her “winter concert” script and it covers Hanukah and Kwanza. The only mention of Christmas is in Spanish. I am glad they teach about the other celebrations and cultures because they are a part of our heritage as the melting pot. However, Christmas is a larger part of our heritage.
Our founding fathers came here to be able to practice their religious beliefs without persecution. Separation of church and state was meant to keep the government out of the church not the church out of the government. The political correctness and so called tolerance this nation is showing is causing intolerance toward Christians. I fear for this nation because the more we push God out of it the worse things are going to get. Just read the Bible. Every time Israel fell away from following God they were captured and persecuted.
I do not want to cause a big scene about this but I will write the teacher and let her know how I feel. I am grateful that we live in a country that I can still voice my opinion and I pray that does not change. I believe that God is in control and He appoints our leaders. I am praying daily for our leaders and this nation. My family and I will keep Christ the center of our “Winter” celebrations.

My daughter a racist?...WTH?

2008-10-21T11:00:00.000-07:00

Our youngest daughter, Kathryn, is turning ten on October 28th. She wants a sleep over party. Well, given the turmoil of housework & hair combing I have had in the last two months due to our lovely lice infestation we said no. She was devastated but we talked her into a Laser tag, Mini-golf party at Fun Expeditions in Winchester, VA. She could not wait to print out the invitations and hand them out. After handing out the invitations she told me that she was not going to invite one of her friends. I asked her why and she said that her best friend, Nikki, didn’t like this girl anymore. Well, that was no excuse for me so again I asked why and she told me that this friend had called her a racist because of who we are going to vote for!

Needless to say I am somewhat befuddled because I looked up to this girl’s parents. Her father has served two tours in Iraq and they seem to be very nice people. Jay is livid and wants to know if this took place on school property.

So, I guess I just feel the need to say to all of the Obama supporters that I am voting for John McCain. Not because of his skin color but because of the issues. I am a politically conservative voter. The main issue for me is abortion. I am strongly pro-life and I will not vote for someone who is pro-choice. I do believe that Roe v. Wade can be and will eventually be overturned. I believe in a smaller government, school vouchers, a flat tax, no capital gains or inheritance tax, pro-marriage, pro-guns & that social issues are better handled by the churches and not the government. I am not totally in line with John McCain and I am upset that he was for the bailout but he is the closest match for president that I have. That does not make me or my daughter a racist. I pray that everyone votes for who they line up with best in the issues not because of their race or their eloquence or their age. Please don’t try to bombard me with email telling me who you are voting for because my mind is made up. I also disagree with some on the right who are sending out emails saying that Obama is the antichrist because that is absurd too. One of my best friends is voting for him. I don’t think any less of her. We just agree to disagree. I urge everyone to go online and read the facts about the issues and make up your own mind. Then, go and vote on Nov. 4th!

Lovely gifts from school

2008-10-20T11:15:00.000-07:00

Don’t you love the fall? The leaves begin to change. The crisp smell in the air and the kids are back in school. Though, I have found one big draw back to the kids being back in school. The things they end up bringing home from school. Last week I found the fourth case of lice in both of my daughter’s hair. We have treated them three other times. I have done load after load of laundry. I have spent hours after hour nitpicking hair. I hate lice! I told a friend that I believe God gave us lice to teach us patience but I keep praying, “Okay, God, I get it now!” On top of the lice situation I have tried to balance my part-time professional organizing business, my taxi driving to and from dance & school, and helping my mom, who lives with us and has just had a complete right knee replacement. These are the times that if I don’t stop and find the humor in the situation I would have a meltdown. It surprises me that my hair has not turned grey or completely fallen out! As I look back on these last few weeks of our lice battle I thought about something or I should say God gave me an insight. Last Wednesday my pastor was talking about sin and confessing it to God and poof there was the picture in my head of my nitpicking. (Yes, I think in pictures and they are in Technicolor!) Lice & nits are like our sin. If it goes untouched the situation gets worse. Other people get infected or hurt by it. When confessing or nitpicking if you leave even one sin or nit untouched it can very quickly go back into a full blown mess! My pastor’s wife also added that people tend to hide their lice due to shame or embarrassment but everyone can get lice just as everyone sins! People are afraid to tell what they have done for the judgment they might get from others but if we don’t speak out on what we have done and what we are dealing with then others might feel alone. They may think this is only happening to them and no one else. Lice are to kids as fleas are to dogs. It is almost inevitable. And sin is something everyone deals with. My name is Kelly Tidwell and I have lice!